Since the iPod, Apple is finally recognized en masse for creating the ultimate technolust devices, sexiest hardware, and most intuitive software. What this breeds, though, is having the very people who are/were the company’s biggest detractors, clogging up the Apple store wanting their iPhones.

MOVE.

What gives you the right to be such a pompous, righteous Mac ass, you say? I liken the feeling to when there’s an awesome, undiscovered band you love … they get signed, get huge … when you go to their next concert you’re surrounded by 10,000 frat boys with seashell necklaces and hemp anklets, moshing. Sloshed girls with beer bellies lifting up their tank tops. Only, the drunk fatties are old guys in white collared shirts who use a Dell, now flocking to the Apple Store.

“Say there, can this MacintoshBook run the Vista?”

In doing some not-so-random test searches on cuil, I came across the synopsis of pseudoroom via digitalthread, circa 2002:

“They are very, very, MAC. They will forgive PCers, but cannot condone your behavior.”

After a hearty, booming, cartoonish movie villain laugh, I recalled how Mac zealot-like I and my friends were back in the day of widespread Apple hate, and a near $14/share stock price. Running a script that blocked visitors from visiting GUI Galaxy if they were using Internet Explorer, for example … wow that didn’t go over well at all. Holy hate mail, Batman.

Moving into more serious qualification. In June of 2001, at 6am I was among the first 10 in line for Steve Jobs’ key note at the NECC. Did I give 2 shits about education and computing? Hell no. Steve Jobs was there. After front-row seats, being about 10 feet away from the man, I then had the opportunity to (stalk) Steve as he strolled the showroom floor. Eventually, I worked up the guts to strategically position myself in his walking path, and after introducing myself, shook his hand. 2 months later that same year, Troy and I were second in line at 5am at the first Apple Store grand opening in Illinois (the Woodfield Mall one).

Now, everyone hates the guy who is all “oh I liked this first, I was a fan when no one else was, wah wah me me”. I know this. What I can’t stand, however, are hypocrites. These people, always at the ready to thrash Apple and tout their Win PCs, are among the same buying up Apple products solely because there’s a buzz. Joe Spreadsheet VonRoadwarrior who was 3rd in line for an iPhone just so he could slide it out of its holster while in a client meeting, and check his V14GR4 spam email.

“Yep, that’s right boys, it’s the new iPhone. Now, I’m going to go ahead and need you to come in on Saturday…”

In closing, I can find a couple silver linings to these folks buying up the new Apple goods like candy: Not every former Apple-basher is beyond hope. There are some that I know who genuinely do appreciate what they are experiencing, and openly (sometimes begrudgingly) acknowledge that. The second lining: their money. A cash-infused Apple is a good thing. It makes me happy knowing Steve can put some new rims on his Ferrari. This is the solace I can cuddle up with at night.